Monday, February 7, 2011

Dear Santa, RE: Ant Farm

Uncle Milton Illuminated Ant Farm Gel ColonyDear Santa,

First of all, thank you for all the wonderful gifts you have given and the spirit of giving you embody. My family has always enjoyed your visit over Christmas. I know you enjoy the eggnog and cookies we leave out for you as they are always gone.

This year though, I feel I must discuss one of your choices for my son. Obviously, you are a great judge of a person or have immense resources to know that my son would greatly appreciate an Ant Farm. However, this makes for a lousy gift.

I know I will probably end up with a lump of coal next year for this, but I cannot help myself. The joy in a child getting a gift is to be able to use it right away. Oh, by the way, THERE ARE NO ANTS WITH THIS SET!

We understood we need to order the ants and they would be sent in 4-6 weeks. My son checked the mailbox from day 14 to day 46, then we received the following email from your supplier:
Thank you for your order.  Unfortunately at this time it is too cold to ship creatures to your area.  If your temperatures are falling below 32 degrees at night, we cannot safely ship your order.  We will be checking the temperatures weekly to see if they fall within the appropriate window at which time we will ship your order.  We will also notify you via email upon shipment.
So, if I'm right, the Easter Bunny could stop by before the ants arrive due to the nightly temperature.  Unfortunately, the ant farm has fallen from my son's imagination and interest. Somehow, he does seem to still enjoy the handheld electronic games you sent him. I guess that will have to do for now.

Well, thank you for reading my letter. I just wanted to bring this to your attention because I'm sure there are other little boys out there who are still waiting for their ants to arrive.


KP Bergman

PS. We'll leave some extra cookies out next year.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Are people really naming their kids after 70s and 80s rock stars?

Let's start with the incident that put this whole thing into my mind...

At the Dekalb County Fair this week, I was waiting on my son to get off a ride when another father was trying to take a picture of his kids. I looked at him with his camera phone as he yelled (other children's names have been modified to protect the innocent) "Riley, Alison... Jagger"

I was just thinking, "OK, everyone has a right to name their kids what they like, but really? They must be huge Rolling Stones fans."

Then I thought back to some membership applications I have been processing at work. The first one that came to mind was Alexzander VanHalen "Smith." At that time, It brought a smile to my face while looking at the others. Then I was back to work. Since then I have seen some Tommy Lee "Smith"s and a few others.

I'm sure that there are more out there. I'm just not certain if I would want my kids to look back in Wikipedia and find out who I could have been named after. 

Just needed to get that one off my chest.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Steak 'n Shake = Blah!!

Ok, stick with this story about Steak 'n Shake for a moment...

Today is my wife's birthday. I asked her where she would like to go as a family to eat. Her response was:

We haven't been to Steak 'n Shake for 3 years. Why don't we try that?

So, why not? I'm always up for variety in my dining experiences. Well, I guess we now know why we haven't been there in 3 years. And after talking with co-workers today about dining nightmares, I was unaware I would run into my own on my wife's special day.

We ordered drinks, then food for my three kids and ourselves. I have now learned to never underestimate a kid's menu that is for "kids ages 12 and under." Here is a copy of the menu.

The waiter first tried to give us food that was for another table, then 15 minutes later they brought out ours.

My oldest daughter got the kid's salad which was a plateful with a small cup of dressing. OK, that is what we expected. She was happy with it.

Our youngest daughter got a "steakdog" and a sealed cup of applesauce. Fine.

My wife and I also got what we expected.

Then they handed my son a serving of macaroni and cheese, as well as some fries. The wife and I were a bit shocked to say the least. I believe there is more macaroni and cheese in a cheap microwavable cup you can get at the grocery store.

When we questioned the waiter, his response was that is what it is... You can order a side of macaroni for 99 cents, and it will double the size.

Well, the logic would say that a menu that was suitable for kids up to age 12 would have a proper portion size without having to order another serving, wouldn't it?

The waiter was obviously oblivious to our view and continued to ask us:

"Is there anything else I can get for you?"
Hmmm..... how about an appropriate serving of macaroni? That was all I could think of.

The only comfort anyone gave from the "rest"-aurant was when I went to pay the bill and the cashier asked how everything was.

"Well, I was a bit disappointed with the kid's serving of macaroni."

"Yea, they are small" is all the response I got as he asked me for $30 for the night's dining experience.

I guess I know why I won't think about going back for another 3 years.